On Loving Something Without Needing It to Be Everything
A note from the middle of healing, tools, and not having all the answers
I’ve been avoiding writing this. Not because it doesn’t matter… honestly, probably because it matters a little too much. And I noticed that, which is always fun, right? Like oh cool, here’s me avoiding the exact thing I probably need to say out loud. So I had to set myself up differently to even sit down and write this (literally, I had to delete all social media from my phone). Which felt like this weird mix of a small awakening… and also a curiosity of like, wait why is that?
Because if you’ve been around my work, you know Human Design is a big part of it.
I found it in 2020, which feels very on brand for that year. Like if you were even a little self-evolution curious, you were not doing much else besides spiraling inward and trying to understand yourself in new ways. I was at the tail end of my Saturn return, newly married, and realizing I could very easily never leave my house again… which, if you knew me before that, would’ve made absolutely no sense. I was so outward. Fast. Always doing something. Always connecting.
Then everything stopped.
And in that stopping, there was this voice that got really loud. Not even loud… just impossible to ignore. The kind that’s like, hey… it’s time. And not in a gentle way. More like — buckle up, this is about to get deep. So I did what I do. I dove in.
Spiritual mentor.
All the coaching things.
Astrology readings.
Human Design.
But Human Design was different. It wasn’t just interesting — it felt like something in me turned on. Like oh… I get this in a way I hadn’t with other energetic modalities. I could see how it worked, how it applied, how it could actually be used in real life without becoming rigid or overwhelming or to woo woo. Which is always the line I’m walking — how do we take something complex and make it feel like you can actually live it, while not losing our inner truth to it?
Fast forward a few years, and it’s woven into everything I do. My client work, my business, my relationships, how I make decisions. Not because it has all the answers… but because it gives me a lens. A way of seeing.
And also… here’s the part I’ve been avoiding saying out loud.
I can feel the tension around it right now.
People are either all in… or quietly (or loudly) turning away from it.
And I get it. I really do.
Because we live in this world of extremes and clickbait and “this will change your life” energy, and most of the time there’s no space for nuance. No space for the fact that we are layered, contradictory, evolving humans. And I think what’s happening right now is… the world is shifting again.
We’re not in 2020 anymore. We’re back in life, but it feels very different than before. In relationships. In patterns. In responsibilities. And it’s a lot harder to stay connected to the things that helped you understand yourself when you actually have to live yourself.
So what do we do?
We go back to what’s familiar.
We question the things that changed us.
We say maybe it didn’t work.
But the thing about Human Design — and honestly any tool I use — is that it was never about the answers for me.
Not Human Design.
Not tarot.
Not oracle cards.
Not muscle testing.
Not even therapy, if I’m being honest.
They’ve never been the answer. They’ve always been the pause. The moment where I come back to myself. Where I actually listen. Where I ask — is this true for me now?
And that’s how I use it in my work. Not as a prescription, or as “this is who you are, go be this forever.” But as a way back in.
A way to look at your energy, your conditioning, your patterns and then get honest about what you actually want now… even when it contradicts everything you’ve known.
Because the truth is, no tool is going to get you where you want to go.
And I think that’s the part that feels risky to say when you run a business. Because we’re taught to pick one thing, be known for it, be the expert. But I’m not here to be one thing.
I’m here to take all the tools, all the wisdom, all the ways I’ve learned to see people and meet you in a way that is actually specific to you. Because when something “doesn’t work,” it’s usually not because it was wrong. It’s because you were still looking for it to give you the answer… instead of letting it bring you back to yourself.
And that’s the middle I’m sitting in right now.
Loving something.
Questioning it.
Defending it.
Letting it evolve.
And also letting myself be seen in the nuance of that… which, if I’m honest, feels way more vulnerable than just picking a side and staying there.
So maybe I’ll leave you with this —
What are you avoiding right now?
What have you quietly decided “didn’t work” because it didn’t fix everything?
Where are you still looking outside of yourself for something that actually requires you to turn inward?
And what would happen if you stopped trying to find the answer…
and started learning how to listen?
Mantra: I hold the truth within myself, and only within myself.
If you’re in the “I know better but I’m not living it yet” phase… this is the work I care about most.
You can stay here and read, or step a little deeper— through a Human Design reading, a workshop, 1x1 intuitive coaching, or just letting this be the place you come back to.
Either way, I’m really glad you’re here.